List of "Shit happens" jokes

For a November 2004 deletion debate over this page see Mosquito ringtone Votes for deletion/List of "Shit happens" jokes


Older talk

I honestly thin7k the catholic and protestant, err, 'motto' was mixed up.

Protestants would rather embrace predestination, so wouldn't they rather say "Hey, if it happens, it was gods plan, so you deserved it", while catholics are stronger founded in freedom and the own ability to make mistakes. And catholics have the possibility to repent via an institution, which protestants don't, so, that's why I changed those two lines.

If anyone thinks it belongs the other way round, I'd love to hear a brief explanation, and I'll shut up. I certainly won't start reverting around here :) Sabrina Martins Denny/denny vrandečić 22:45, Mar 3, 2004

: Well, i am neither catholic or protestant, so i have no criticism over my source. You are probably right! Nextel ringtones Muriel Gottrop/Muriel 22:47, 3 Mar 2004



Why where they all deleted? Yeah, sure, they would have been highly POV ''if'' they were in the explanatory, but actually they were given here as a quote. Will we start to remove the Abbey Diaz You have two cows quotes, too, and by the way all the lyrics of the national anthemes, because most of them don't fit into the requirements of NPOV. I mean, ''land of the brave'' seems suspiciously POV to me... :) Please, either give a reason on the deletion (and then revert the deletion), or just leave them here. Free ringtones Denny/denny vrandečić 13:50, Mar 5, 2004

Alphabetizing fun.

I just alphabetized the whole mess. Also, can someone confirm the Forrest Gump thing? I thought it was Forrest who stepped in dog poop, and conversation went something like...

Guy looking for a bumber sticker slogan: "Geeze, you just stepped in ''shit''!" (Dog shit?)

Forrest: It happens...

Guy: What, ''shit?''

Forrest: Sometimes...

However, although I like the movie well enough, I've only seen it about two or three times. Can someone confirm this? Majo Mills Sparky the Seventh Chaos/Sparky the Seventh Chaos 06:47, Jul 13, 2004

* My freaky memory supports your version. I've seen it once, but remember the scene and the subtitles. Oh, and could someone capitalize the 'Lord' near the bottom? Mosquito ringtone Kizor/Kizor 10:08, 28 Aug 2004

Shitload of shit
(Raw text moved from the article body)

''Comment''': Some of this shit is a bit far-stretched. For example, I suspect there is no such thing as "divorcism".

Also, such entries, such as
* ''Paganism: Shit happens for a variety of reasons.''
not at all characteristic of the subject. Something like
* ''Sabrina Martins Paganism: All my gods shit on your one.''
would make more sense.
But I had to squeeze the word "happens" somewhere as well. And BTW, yes, IMO all from the below that doesn't contain the full phrase "shit happenss" must be flushed. Nextel ringtones Mikkalai/Mikkalai 19:01, 16 Nov 2004

Some of the ideas, like imposing some grouping age good.

Anyway, I suggest for potential editors to move shit from this shitpile into the article only in cases when you really know the subject. Like, what the heck is Abbey Diaz EST here below? Cingular Ringtones Mikkalai/Mikkalai 18:55, 16 Nov 2004





= Expanded list =


* '''such jokes EST''' I am at cause that shit will not happen.
You're responsible for all the shit that happens.

* Fundamentalism: There's no shit in the Bible.
Shit happens, but don't publish it.

* Moonies: Only happy shit really happens.


* Paganism: Shit happens for a variety of reasons.

* Satanism:
**We hope bad shit happens to all of you.
**We will make your shit happen.

* Scientology:
**All this happens to be shit.
**If you leave us, bad shit will happen to you.

* Branch Davidianism:
** May shit happen to the FBI!
** If shit happens, have a BIG barbecue...

* SubGenius: Shit has happened. For $20 "BoB" will sell you a way to MAKE MONEY FROM IT.

* Dianetics: "Why does shit happen?" (p. 157)


* An Employer: Shit happens, and rolls down hill.

* An Employee: I've done my shit to happen, so can I take the day off?

* Political Correctness: Heavily processed nutritionally-deprived biological output happens.

* Heisenbergism: Shit happened, we just don't know where or how much.

* Quantum Shittydynamics: Shit happens only in well-defined quantities.

* Washington: I cannot tell a lieshit happened.


* Nixon: Shit didn't happen, and if it did I din't know anything about it.

* Reagan: Well, I do believe that shit happened. I was just taking a nap.

Socialism: The same shit happens to everyone.

Vegetarianism: If it happens to shit, don't eat it.

SHIT HAPPENS in various professions


Statistician: There is an 83.7% chance that shit will happen. Maybe.

Physicist (Theoretical): Shit SHOULD happen.

Physicist (Experimental): To within experimental error, shit DID happen.


Doctor: Yes, it's definitely a case of shit happening. $90, please...

Psychologist: Shit is in your mind.
Everything that happens is shit; some of it is just repressing
its subconscious shittiness.

Social Scientist: Let's pretend that shit doesn't happen...

Historian: The same shit happens again and again.

Politician:
* If you elect me, shit will never again happen.
* Shit happening is bad for the economy.

Linguist: Feces tauri happens.
(For non-Latin-speakers: feces tauri=the excrement of a bull)

Copyright status
This piece is moved from VfD page, to unclutter it. spaces where Mikkalai/Mikkalai 22:25, 22 Nov 2004

*'''Delete'''. Unencyclopedic, and also a copyvio (see [http://www.google.com/search?q=%22Confucius+say%2C+Shit+happens%22]). another spike Leif/ 23:34, 20 Nov 2004
**I doubt the copyvio argument is applicable to this stuff. Not to say that each joke is subject to copyright separately. If an author claims copyright to a particular joke, we shall gladly remove it (or indicate autorship, at author's will). friendship society Mikkalai/Mikkalai 01:38, 21 Nov 2004
**I think they can claim it altogether; the form and ordering are close enough. I added a copyvio tag. Comment more on the bear deutsche copyvio page. Alternatively, just put the jokes that are new into the rewrite page. feared retribution Mozzerati/Mozzerati 22:14, 2004 Nov 21
***The link you listed in the copyvio tag is nowhere close to the content of the article. has proportionately Mikkalai/Mikkalai 01:22, 22 Nov 2004
****''link'': Taoism - Shit happens. ''artcle'': Taoism: Shit happens. ''Same.''
***** link cannot claim priority
****''link'': Confuciansim - Confucius says. shit happens ''artcle'': Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens". ''Same.''
***** link cannot claim priority
****''link'': Buddhism - If shit happens it isn't really shit. ''artcle'': Buddhism: When shit happens, is it really shit? ''Same.''
****''link'': Zen - What is the sound of shit happening? ''artcle'': Zen: What is the sound of shit happening? ''Same.''
***** link cannot claim priority
****''link'': Hinduism - This shit happened before. ''artcle'': Hinduism: This shit has happened before. ''Same.''
****''link'': Islam - If shit happens, it is the will of Allah. ''artcle'': Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah. ''Same.''
****''link'': Protestantism - Let shit happen to someone else. ''artcle'': Protestantism: If shit happens, you deserved it. ''Different... but...''
***** No buts. link cannot claim priority
****''link'': Catholicism - If shit happens you deserve it. (''Same as article's Protestantism'') ''artcle'': Catholicism: Shit happens but as long as you repent, it's OK. / Shit happens if you wear condoms. ''Different''
***** link cannot claim priority
****''link'': Judaism - Why does this shit always happen to us? ''artcle'': Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us? ''Essentially the same.''
***** If you don't see the difference it's your problem. link cannot claim priority
****''link'': Atheism - I don't believe this shit. ''article'': not in article ''Athiests never get any love''
****''link'': Agnosticism - What is this shit? ''artcle'': Agnosticism: You can't prove any of this shit happens. ''Different''
***** link cannot claim priority
****Mikkalai, did you look through the link? The link and article's contents that they share are largely identicle, as I just proved. Further, it would be nearly impossible to rewrite them to avoid the copyvio without removing the "humor" of the sayings. I own the poster in the link provided. There is a copyright notice on the bottom of it, tho partially torn off (see my comment above). Granted, the article expands on the poster, but would that content be the type of thing people would look through an encyclopedia for? I'd say that would be highly unlikely. elite defender Arcuras/Arcuras 01:51, Nov 22, 2004
***** Are you saying that "Zen - What is the sound of shit happening?" is your invention? The very fact that your poster says "confucius says" instead of "confucius say" shows that the authour of the poster you doesn't know the sense of the joke. free louie Mikkalai/Mikkalai 03:29, 22 Nov 2004
***** Of this list only three I don't remember from usenet posts of 1970s. You are free to delete them. Allah will restore them if it will be His will. gothic cage Mikkalai/Mikkalai 03:38, 22 Nov 2004
******please make sure analysis is reflected on reproduced almost copyvio since the rules of that page are that if nobody shows authorship then after some time the copyvio is deleted. Incidentally, if just some of it is copyright to the poster then that's enough to make the article undistributable in many countries. Even if this passes VfD it's better to start again with the parts which are original. Alternatively, maybe this does come from an old usenet posting, in which case it's a terrible breach of lay senior wp:cite your sources until you find that posting. http://groups.google.com/ has a ''complete'' collection. n kaplan Mozzerati/Mozzerati 22:00, 2004 Nov 22

Please voice your opinion at the sweeps not Village pump (policy)#Copyright policy w.r.t. joke lists, since the issue is of general nature. refrigerator magnets Mikkalai/Mikkalai 22:49, 22 Nov 2004